Motherhood is the most beautiful journey filled with love, joy, happiness, lots of challenges and growth. From the moment a baby is conceived, a mother’s life changes forever. And later after this little tiny creature comes into the world your days are full of sleepless nights, endless diaper changes and getting adjusted to a new routine. As children grow, mothers learn how to make a balance between work, family and their aspirations. Through the ups and downs, the journey of motherhood is a rewarding one with countless moments of love and pride. A mother’s love is unconditional and she shapes her children, creating an unbreakable bond that lasts for a lifetime.

Hi I am Archana Goyal, today I am sharing my motherhood and parenting journey where we as a couple had seen lots of ups and downs. After 2 – 3 months of our marriage we decided that we want to start our family but every month I use to get my dates on time so after 5- 6 months we visited a gynaecologist who after doing blood screening and sonography. Even my husband was asked to get a screening done just to check where we are lacking. Right, then I was diagnosed with PCOD with insulin resistance. My hormonal levels were showing severe fluctuation repeatedly. I lost my patience. I fell into depression but I was very fortunate to have a very caring and supportive husband who stood by me in every doctor’s consultation and screening. Even when my results were not in my favour, he was right there beside me to offer me support.

After 5 yrs of marriage, you can feel your family’s expectations in their eyes. You could sense them asking “How soon we can hear the good news?” And then when you are not able to fulfil their expectations, the sadness you see on their faces makes you feel more stressed. After a long struggle of 5 years, where we had uncountable times of screening, medications round, injections, hormonal therapy treatment, 1 failed IVF, 1 failed ICSI and 11 failed IUI, lots of mood swings, temper tantrums when my caring father-in-law said: “why are you both getting so anxious and stressed up all the days, we can go for the adoption process, why are you hurting yourself so much”. I can see the pain you are going through and at that moment, I broke into tears.

Those caring words I will never forget. Unfortunately, my doting father-in-law passed away too soon due to sudden cardiac arrest, just 12 days after he heard that I am pregnant. It all happened after we stopped all our medications and treatment process. We were like free birds. With no stress and tension, my hormone levels came to normal. I used to wake up very fresh, do all my morning routine work and leave for my work. That was the time when one day suddenly I felt I missed my monthly cycle. I did my home pregnancy test to be more certain. I was shocked and was not ready to believe it. I went to visit my doctor who performed a routine test for confirmation. When she said you are pregnant, I was on top of the world. After work, I drove fast to my husband’s office and he was speechless, I could see tears in his eyes. If my FIL was alive, I knew he would be the best grandfather, we thought to ourselves.

Due to this mishappening, we all were in tears. It took us a great deal of time to cope with his sudden demise. Due to extreme stress, I got bedridden in my third trimester. My mother-in-law who was grieving herself took care of me. During that time, blood pressure used to be high. Even then with all care and support, I had a small tiny creature beside me who came into the world a month before my due date. When I was shifted to the hospital room, my husband kissed me on my forehead and said “Thank you, it’s a boy”. When I think deeply, my little one is a mirror image of my father-in-law. His facial features and habits are alike. He uses both his hands just like my father-in-law whenever he performs any task.

Due to this mishappening, we all were in tears. It took us a great deal of time to cope with his sudden demise. Due to extreme stress, I got bedridden in my third trimester. My mother-in-law who was grieving herself took care of me. During that time, blood pressure used to be high. Even then with all care and support, I had a small tiny creature beside me who came into the world a month before my due date. When I was shifted to the hospital room, my husband kissed me on my forehead and said “Thank you, it’s a boy”. When I think deeply, my little one is a mirror image of my father-in-law. His facial features and habits are alike. He uses both his hands just like my father-in-law whenever he performs any task.

The first time I held him in my hands, he was incredibly small and delicate. He had significantly reduced his weight. I was completely overwhelmed by his size. He was a fat baby when he was born, but he no longer has any of that chubbiness.

After a few days, we got discharged from the hospital and got him home with a bundle of medicines and asked him to maintain a room temperature. We were asked to keep him warm by turning on the room heater for the next two months till summer because it was extremely cold that year. We were very watchful and only permitted relatives to be in his area. With prompt vaccinations, he made a full recovery.

Today, he is hyperactive, talks a lot and is super active. We couldn’t thank god more and are truly blessed to see Aayushman grow into a smart and intelligent 9-year-old boy. Our days have become super busy with him but we are so happy.

When it rains, it pours they say, isn’t it? This cliched thing happened in my life too. Much to everyone’s surprise and delight, I missed my dates when Aayushman was 4 years old and found out that I was pregnant with our second child.

This time around I was hoping that I get to enjoy my motherhood and pregnancy journey without any complications and hospitalisation. I wanted to enjoy every second of my bumpy ride. That sincere desire made me enjoy life to the fullest. I went about doing my routine activities, driving my son to school, going shopping etc. During my second trimester, my husband was not well and came home from the office shivering so I drove him to the hospital where I worked as a clinical dietician and nutrition consultant. He tested positive for swine flu at that time. After a few days, I was down with a fever and tested positive for swine flu too. I was asked by the doctor to take medications and be in quarantine. It was tough for all of us but clouds started to drift. After 5 days my husband was discharged and sent home from the hospital. I also regained my health. All these times, a ray of sunshine was my son who suddenly became responsible and kept on saying that he wanted a baby sister. He used to mouth words to my tummy in his gibberish language. The best thing was the baby responded with a twist and kick to his words. Even while leaving for the hospital, he said “mummy papa Behan he lekar ana”. We were blessed with a baby girl by God's grace and blessing. We named her Raagvee. Like her brother, she is very naughty, talkative and expressive. She was healthy and did not have any issues until she suffered from dengue fever. She was just 8 months old and was soon hospitalised. 4 days were tough for us parents. In her 11th month, she suffered from high fever and seizures. This continued intermittently as she got seizures again. The doctors calmed us saying it happens with many children under the age of 5 years. Touchwood, both my kids are hale and hearty now and we as parents, would want to wish them good health and happiness for their lifetime.

My hands shiver as I write, thinking of those stressful times. It was painful to see my little one who was having a hard time. My husband, holding him in his hands, ran to Jaipur’s best pediatric government hospital. As soon as we reached, we were asked to take him home. They said that the chances of his survival are far less. We tried another hospital. With firm hope, my husband and my little boy neonatal ambulance ran to the hospital but they too did not give us any hope. When we stood helpless, two angels in disguise - DR. Rajkumar Jain and DR Kulshresth took a chance. They immediately shifted him to intensive critical care and asked us to be patient. My little tiny baby was surrounded by lots of tubes and wires over him and all his veins was swollen up. He was kept on a ventilator for 10 – 12 days after which he slowly started moving his hands in response to someone’s touch. My husband said he waved at me. Through the glass, I used to see him drinking milk. He looked here and there with his little tiny eyes. Gradually, he started showing up with a very good response and on the 13th day after his birth, I was asked to stay with him in the hospital. 10 days later, he was shifted to a private room in an incubator and oxygen machine. They wanted him to take a breath on his own without the help of external oxygen support.

Summing up:

For all those who are trying to conceive, eat healthy food and follow a good sleep routine. Unhealthy eating habits, chaotic sleep patterns, lack of understanding between couples and increased stress are some of the reasons behind infertility. Go for timely health check-ups and screenings to take preventive care measures. Kids are full-time jobs so having a support system who can share the care tasks will reduce your stress. Engage in a healthy discussion with your partner, spending some ‘we time’ with each other, and having a deep respect for each other likes and dislikes will strengthen your bond and help you positively in parenting. Keep the communication channel open as a lack of talking or listening to each other could trigger conflicts and toxic issues between couples. Pour your heart out and listen to your partner when he pours his heart out. Be physically active by taking some yoga or fitness classes. A compulsory 40 mins daily workout is a must in our daily routine. Stay hydrated and avoid processed foods. Last but not least, take your mental health seriously by practising breathing techniques like pranayama. It is the best way to manage your stress and anxiety. Seek help or a medical opinion if you are not able to cope with the stress and want to learn different coping mechanisms.