Motherhood is Not a Walk in the Park

A Good Start is Half the Battle Won

My journey started off real easy, I was in the hospital for 4 days and the nurses trained me so well. No latching issues. 100% support from family, good rest and food. My baby was gaining the necessary weight. Parenting looked so easy.

When I Realised MotherHood is Never a Walk in the Park

I think after 3 months, breastfeeding was very draining for me mentally, I hated the process. Feeding for 30 mins on each breast made me restless. Repeating the whole thing like 8 times a day was just exhausting. I eventually started ignoring the signs when she wasn't feeding well. I dint pump to maintain my supply.

(My perception - once the milk sets in I thought it would not go away). I did not speak about my discomfort. Told everyone that everything was great.
Eventually after a month, when she was 4 months old I realised my supply was going down. I expressed this to my doctor, but he didn't seem to think there was any issue, since there was no problem in weight gain. I started paying more attention trying to revive it but not with a lot of success. We tried bottle feeds and she out right rejected it.

Searching For a Silver lining

Then I started work after another month and things just went downhill. She was active but wasn't putting on enough weight. Everyone said you can start solids and that will improve her weight. She ate in good quantities but it dint reflect in her weight. I tried all the things possible to improve my supply, cluster pumping, pumping extra when she was not feeding. Used spoon bottles to feed 30 ml or so with lot of struggle. I just put people around me in stress too. Nothing worked and she just gained 1 kg from 7 to 11 months. She was only 7.5 kgs on her 1st birthday. She was a small baby at birth, so doctors said this could be because of that.

And the Sun Shone

Luckily she started taking a bottle after 1 year, and solids also digested better. 3 or 4 feedings in a day from me also were helping. Brest feeding now felt very comforting, I enjoyed every second of it. the way she clung to me, I felt one with my daughter . I really enjoyed this phase. After 15 months I weaned her off. She is still in the lower spectrum of weight but she is vey active and happy. Even today, I still carry the guilty. I am always worried about her growth.

Learnings In My Journey: A Lesson For New Moms

I hope this story helps someone out there breastfeeding - not make the mistakes I made - not to take breast feeding for granted.

Express yourself and seek help. Parenting can take a toll on mental health.

Make things more enjoyable.

And also keep your child used to the bottle.

So whenever there is problem there is something to fall back on. Practice feeding in different positions.

(As Told By Tejaswini, Momly Mom)