Lost and found: Reinventing myself after motherhood

Becoming a mother is a transformative journey filled with love, joy, and profound growth. However, amidst the joys of nurturing a new life, many women grapple with a profound sense of loss – the loss of their pre-motherhood identity. I am one such woman.

For the longest time after I became a Mom, I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. Life went by in a blur. I barely remember the first 3 months after arriving home with my baby. Dealing with all the issues that popped up from being a first-time mom like healing pains, breastfeeding and latching issues, falling into the roommate phase with my partner, sleep-deprivation, and loss of interest in self, not to mention feeling unreasonably tired all the time. Don’t get me wrong! Every day with my baby is beyond any sort of joy explainable but to also deal with my issues alongside was something unexplainable. To navigate the constant highs and lows was an internal battle. It took me the entire first year after the birth of my daughter to slowly start feeling like myself again and getting interested in the things that once excited me like reading, dancing, baking and simply enjoying life and being skip-happy. Even now when my daughter is just shy of 16 months, I still haven’t reached my old self yet. I know it's a long and steady journey in which I shouldn’t stop pushing myself. I love to read so I've gotten my daughter lots of books until now and we read together whenever we can and it fills me with immense pleasure when I see her going and picking up a book by herself, sitting and flipping the pages and babbling out loud. Similarly, we play music at home and dance together!

It's ridiculously funny but also so heart-warming seeing this tiny person in front of you looking at you and bouncing, clapping and throwing their arms in the air without a care.

Rediscovering ourselves after becoming a mother is a journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. It's a process of self-discovery that unfolds over time, requiring patience, compassion, and especially self-compassion. By acknowledging our feelings, reframing perspectives, prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and embracing the journey of rediscovery, we can reclaim a sense of self amidst the demands of motherhood. In doing so, we honour the multifaceted aspects of our identity, embodying the essence of strength, resilience, and authenticity.

Message for partners - Please be supportive! Listen and be empathetic. Acknowledge & validate her feelings and encourage self-care. Share the mental load and the physical responsibilities. Collaborating as equal partners in parenting fosters a sense of teamwork and solidarity, strengthening the bond between you both.

Words of courage -Don't give up! Just because you became a mom doesn’t mean you have to forget or give up being who you were before. Embrace Motherhood as a new phase of your life and try to incorporate elements of your pre-mom era into your current life! Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul – whether it's pursuing a hobby, spending time with nature, or connecting with supportive friends – this can help you reconnect with your old selves and cultivate a sense of balance amidst the beautiful chaos of motherhood. Always remember - You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Seek support from family members, friends, or mental health professionals who can provide valuable perspective and guidance. Much love and power to all the wonderful Moms out there! You got this.

(As told by Greeshma)